THE CRUEL GIRL
THEE YUPPIE SCUM
MY DEFINITION OF A HARLEY RIDING YUPPIE WANNABE
I was inspired to write this after reading a letter signed by "John Doe". He wanted me to explain HARLEY RIDING YUPPIE WANNABE to him, so I thought I'd share my thoughts here with all of you and this way anyone else who was wondering if they fell into this
category will also know, I know the majority of you don't. So I'll give it my best effort: Someone who makes way too much money and thinks that by buying a Harley and all the chrome Doo-Dad's and the Genuine HD Clothing will make him a Biker and he will now be forever cool. You will usually find this person frequenting the HD Boutique on his lunch break while he's either checking his pager or talking on his cell phone. He doesn't need anything, but yet he buys something just so he can pull out his HOG card and get his discount, not that he needs it, but he just wants the person behind him who is waiting to get parts to see that he is a HOG member. On the weekends he'll usually be the first one there for the Free coffee. You'll see him outside
gleaming over his spotless Garbage Wagon shaking his Concho's and talking about how he was "Born to be Wild". This person takes his bike to the Service department over and over
every time he hears a noise and regardless of how many times they reassure him that there is nothing wrong with his bike, he's there every week driving the technicians crazy. Doesn't know the difference between a Flywheel or the wheel on his bike or how to gap a plug or what even what a gap is. Doesn't think twice about kicking out a couple hundred bucks for an oil change or a detailing and even if he knew how to do it, he wouldn't for fear of getting his hands dirty. Worse yet, that would be one less trip he'd get to make to the dealer and he would miss out on a day of Profiling. You may also see him trailoring his Bike to Sturgis in his Million Dollar Rig which just gets parked in the lot of the most expensive hotel in the area. He is the reason that price of a new HD has gotten so ridiculous. He is also the reason that we can't get our Classic Bikes worked on at the Dealerships anymore. He is the reason I am getting sick to my stomach just writing this. You are not a Biker nor will you ever be a Biker. You are a Harley Riding Yuppie Wannabe and that's ALL you'll ever be. You love that electronic speedo, no one will ever see that you don't ride because your mileage isn't displayed, only you see it as you ride away with that dumb fucking look on your face wondering whether or not it's time to shift gears. All the while your thinking, Wow, do I look cool or what? Well guess what? You don't, we just all laugh. There are many Bikers who ride new bikes that ARE bikers, you know who you are, we know who you are, it's just like a Wannabe Cowboy and a Real cowboy, the real Cowboy can pick him outta a needle in a haystack. I hope
I've cleared this up for you "John Doe"